Questioning Motivations

While watching something on a video the other day, I found myself being extremely critical of the person featured. This was a video clip of a young gospel music artist talking about his latest ventures. He was so over-eager to share that not only was he putting out a new album, but also doing a movie project and some other project, and on and on. He was just about tripping over himself, making sure to self-promote that I went from being impressed with his enthusiasm to being sort of irritated.

After I took a few moments to mentally analyze the guy and criticize him thoroughly, I realized that I was throwing a bunch of stones from a chair in my own glass house. 

When I stopped to think about it all, I realized that maybe I should be taking notes for an improvement in my own life.  For instance, what if, every time I get ready to do something or say something, I take time to consider my motives?

Hmmm....

I think that I will probably need to tie a string around a different finger every day to remember to ask myself a few questions before I speak or act from now on, but I'd like to try out the idea...

What are our motives when we do or say things? Are we always speaking to be helpful or encouraging? Do we do things to help people or to better ourselves in positive ways? If I'm going to be honest, I have to admit that I'm probably only completely non-selfish in about 30% of the things I do or say.

There have been times when I've given advice to family or friends more out of a need to look wise than to actually be a help to them. Even worse, I have sometimes tried to use my "advice" to lead them toward what I want rather than to actually advise them.

That sounds so awful when I think about it, but I really never have thought much about it before now.

Anyway, from now on, I hope to more carefully consider my true motives. I tried to come up with a list of things that I'll need to ask myself before do or say anything significant:

• Am I speaking or acting out of my negative feelings or emotions (anger, frustration, annoyance, etc.)?
• Are my feelings or emotions warranted?
• Am I saying something because I truly mean it?
• If I don't mean it, why am I bothering to say it?
• If I do mean it, can I logically defend it?
• Am I doing or saying something to look smarter than someone else - or less vulnerable?
• Am I doing or saying something just for approval or attention?
• Whose approval am I seeking by saying or doing something?
• Who am I helping (or harming) by doing or saying something?
• Is what I am doing or saying useful? And if it's not, why am I doing or saying it?
• Is this the time to say or do something or not?
• What will it really matter in the long run?
• How is what I say or do going to effect someone else?

This is basic stuff, but I don't always take the time to use my actions or words wisely. Here is something I have learned: sometimes, the most powerful motivation is a feeling powerless. That's dangerous because so many of us think the antidote to feeling powerless is a negative reaction.

courtesy my YouVersion app

I going to start this very day praying for more restraint in my moment-to-moment behavior. Guess that means I'll be doing lots of praying!

Peace

--Free