Healing, Suffering & Thorns

As often happens, a very random thought struck me while I was in the middle of listening to an audio-book. I'm currently listening to "The Visitation" by Frank Peretti. (By the way, while this is not not my favorite by Peretti, still a good book.)

In the story, a stranger appears in a small town and begins to convince the residents that he is Jesus. One of the ways he wins over "even the elect" is by healing people.

As I listened to the story unfold, I kept thinking of all the reasons the town people should recognize a false Christ. I thought about how, even if such a man had come around before my sister died and could have healed her, I would not have wanted that. Neither would she, by the way.

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I know that people are always eager to be miraculously healed. It's why so many people travel to various places with "healing" waters and weeping statues, etcetera. What I don't understand about this is why we think that we should be healed. 

Of course, like just about everyone struggling with a disease, I take every advantage of modern medicine. I use to pray all the time for this disease to be taken from my body. I used to wish it had never even touched my life. But I also know that dying is a part of life. Sickness is a part of life. The minute Adam and Eve sinned, they were touched with the gradual death of the physical body.

Every one of us is born to die - even people who never suffer a cancer or any other kind of illness - unless we are still alive when Jesus calls us home in the Rapture. Methuselah lived hundreds of years, but he did eventually die. I have a grandfather who lived to be over 100 years old, but he did die.

I no longer even pray for my sickness to be taken away from me. I often try to give thanks that it hasn't killed me yet. I am even thankful that I got the disease. The reason is, this disease and everything in my life that has resulted from it brought me to my knees. I needed to be brought to just where I am today because, otherwise, I might never have learned to lean entirely on God.

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Everything I once was caused me to focus away from God. I was too young, cute, healthy and financially independent to ever think that I would be otherwise. At the time, I thought I'd never had to think about my health going bad or where my next paycheck or meal was coming from. Like most young people, I couldn't imagine not being young.

Life is for learning and growing. Health is a daily and sometimes very temporary blessing. For anyone who allows themselves to love others, suffering and grieving will eventually come. 

So, I don't want to ask God to relieve me of all suffering. I think of any of the things I have gone through as things to keep me from becoming conceited. Paul said it in a passage of the Bible:

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So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. (2 Corinthians 12:7 ESV)

Ten years ago - even 5 years ago - I would not have truly understood that message. Every time I get too confident in my own abilities, I am tempted to forget all that God does for me. What I am still learning every day is to "count it all joy" - every struggle is a reminder of what I won't have to deal with one day. 

Peace

--Free