How Does the Internet Affect Our Lives?

There are a lot of positive advantages to social media sites. There are also some heavy negatives. As with anything, it's as though we turn any positive thing into a negative by going one or two steps further than we realize. I think that we sometimes get so involved in the online community that we forget the real-world communities we all live in.


If we look at how we could use these sites in contrast with how "jump the shark" with them. I just want to share some rambling thoughts I've been having since this morning when I sent a loved one a "Happy Birthday" wish via Facebook and text...

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The Positive: We can share photos and news and other information with friends and family who may not live by. 

Photos start becoming ego-driven vanity updates, selfies and outright lies. If I know you well enough, then I know that some of your photos are bigger fantasies than the fake Christmas letters you send around.

If I counted how many times I've seen a heart or "I love you" on a post from people who haven't shown love or genuine affection, I'd have to borrow Einstein's calculator.

Somehow, sharing news with family online has replaced taking 5 minutes to pick up a phone and put up with hearing each other's voices. I don't even want to think about how most of us will never know what it's like to have a box of ribbon-tied letters and cards to reminisce over.

Just as with texting, I love the convenience of a quick update, but worry when I see people sitting next to each other having a conversation via keyboard.

Worst of all is when I have to get really important updates about life, death, health and heartbreak via a social media site. If we have no other way to get the news out, social media is a blessing. If we have phone numbers and addresses, getting news via Facebook or Twitter just adds to the pain.

Most of us would cringe to see friends or family - or even strangers - having a nasty fight in public. It happens all the time on social media. Social media is great for the person to shy or afraid to talk about their feelings of love or depression or needing help. Too bad that it also allows and encourages passive-aggressive behavior.

When we are so busy posting about our loved ones and children instead of actually paying attention to them, we've not only jumped the shark, we allowed that shark to swallow us whole.

The Positive: As students, Christians, employees and other people wanting access, the internet is a vast resource.

Having access to information is sometimes a license to be lazy or cheat. Why work at figuring out the answers and completing an assignment if you can cull what you need from online? Copy/Paste is the biggest weapon against learning to think and reason for ourselves.

There's something to be said for working from home. There's also something to be said for having a sense of order and routine in ones life. Some of us are so glad for not having to get out of our pajamas to clock in for work that we're going to start having to find motivation for working at all.

I personally love that I can study all sorts of literature and resources to do with the Bible and Christianity. What I went through for years was a drought of worship with other Christians. There's so much more to walking the faith than reading Bible verses and listening to audios of sermons. Just being in the presence of brothers and sisters - all who are living their own struggles - is uplifting. (While I was typing this, the words of Matthew 18:20 came to mind: For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.)

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The Positive: Social media and the internet allows us to be in touch with people we may never meet in real life.

It's too easy to mask ourselves, our feelings and emotions, and our motives when we are hidden by a screen and a keyboard. There are people who count on that camouflage. Not all people who use this anonymity are dangers. Some people are lonely, depressed, or needful in other ways, and the rest of us can't see that. Then there are the dangerous people, the mean people, the bullies and parasites... It's hard enough to discern true motives of the people we see everyday, let alone those who are hidden behind an avatar or screen name.

I truly believe that we often can only understand our behavior when it's reflected off of others. How else do we see how our actions affect each other? If I ever thought it was "cute" to be sarcastic, I learned differently from seeing immature it looked to me when I saw someone else being sarcastic. We can see how small gestures of kindness can be so beautiful when we witness those acts being committed.


We are starting to lose touch with each other because we are separating into cliques that will not intermingle. One of the best things I get from social media is interacting with people I might not otherwise have the chance to. That's been a good thing, most times. The problem I find is that because we all have access to people who will feed craving for mindless stuff, we don't need to deal with anyone who tries to keep us focused on things that really matter. For instance, if I want to be that Christian that never wants to hear about the wrong things I might be doing, I can find a whole bunch of Christians who will tell me that I'm doing just fine. Any of us can, if we want, take our ball and go find a team that plays only by the rules we like. That's fine for the mature person, but it's not going to help the immature person to grow.

The Positive: News and information from all over the world is at the ready for anyone with an internet connection.

How much news are we keeping up with that has to do with issues that affect our families, livelihoods, and spiritual growth? Probably not as much as we are watching and reading that has to do with celebrity, entertainment and silliness. Some of us are so busy keeping up with the Kardashians (or the Duggars or the Basketball Wives, Housewives, etc.) that we can't keep up with our own homes and responsibilities.

We've turned into a bunch of gossips. We gossip so much now that we gossip about people we don't even know. If someone is the "friend" of a "friend" (and so on), we suddenly start to know (or think we know) way too much about who they date, sleep with, fought with - or who they want to date, sleep with or fight with.

I asked someone recently if they had heard about CERN. The response was vague and dismissive. A few hours later, I heard the person and some other people having a rousing discussion about the latest an episode of a television show. All I could think was that there are so few people left to have interesting and substantive conversations with. (My little brother and I have a joke that we hate calling each other because our conversations always turn into marathon discussions about the Bible, politics and other information. I just don't have many people I can have these conversations with so... Sorry, bro. You're it!)

So... How can we assess the effect we allow the internet and social media to have on our lives and relationships?

If we take just an hour of time away from that which we spend online and give that hour back to our real lives, what a difference it could make.

The next time that you hear about a friend going through something, pick up the phone and call. Send a letter or card. Go by and visit with them. Give them a hug or say "I love you".

When you are looking at your phone more than you are looking at the flesh and blood people right around you, how much are you showing that you care? When they are gone away from you, what will you regret that you didn't do or say because you were busy playing Farmville or Candy Crush, or whatever your online vice is?

Don't fool yourselves by thinking that the life you present online is the one that people see when they think of you. Most of us know what real lives we are living.

Maybe we should think about this: if what we are doing online isn't giving to our lives more than it's taking away, do we need to re-organize our priorities? We've all heard the term "Golf (or video game) Widow", but we are creating widows and orphans of our relationships, souls, goals, and daily lives every time we waste time online.

Another point is to realize that most of our time spent online is not for anything else but a diversion or distraction from real life situations we face. Maybe we need to ask ourselves why it is that we don't want to face those situations?

Parents and other adults teach their kids to eat balanced meals. "No dessert til you finish dinner" is something most of us have been taught. Why then have we, as grown ups, started replacing 'dinner' with 'dessert' when it comes to things in our day to day life?

Finally, as one Christian to other Christians, I just want to say that I think we have to be especially careful. We should not let anything - internet, hobbies, anything - distract us from our faith and purpose as Christians. I will still use the internet and social media, but I'm going to try to be careful not to let it use me.

Peace
--Free