Walking the Talk (is serious exercise!)

"Be careful what you pray for."

If that's not a saying, it should be!

I'm hot-tempered. It's the main thing I had to ask God for help with. You know, after the whole,"Please save my soul" favor.

It's a wonder that God isn't just so sick and tired of me by now. But then, He is God. Thank God!

Recently I prayed a prayer that got answered with a quickness I wasn't prepared for. My prayer went something like this: "Please, Lord, help me to be more thoughtful with my words and actions. Help me to reign in my temper. Let me live my life as a testament to the changes You have made and are making in me."

Then I had to repent a whole bunch of stuff because I had spent the previous night carousing around the backyard fire pit with a bunch of friends and family. Oh, how we laughed and talked. And cursed and gossiped and discussed things that we really should not have been discussing...

Yeah.

So, my prayer was sent up and apparently given Priority rating because, before I knew what hit me, I got the chance to hear God's answer.

As usual, I'm hard of hearing when it comes to God's voice. Like the kid who can hear the ice-cream truck from 6 blocks away, but can't hear the sound of his mother's last nerve snapping when he disobeys for the millionth time.

Let's just say that I got myself into a verbal situation with someone and I could have remembered my prayer and reigned in my temper. I could have.

That would have been beautiful. By holding my temper and responding to the other person with a kind and thoughtful response, I would have been a testament to the work that God is doing in my life. It would have been easier on me and a more powerful reaction than the one I actually had. Which was to get hurt and irritated and respond from a position of pride and negativity.

God is infinitely patient with me, but I am sure, as they say, this is what my guardian angel must have looked like:

                                                            

Oh boy. So, yeah.

I asked God for something and He gave me the perfect opportunity to receive His answer. And I blew it. What could have been so easy, I made triple hard.

I walked around for probably two hours, just livid, about the whole conversation. I replayed the other person's words in my head, considered every nuance of their attitude, and just ripped them apart in my mind.

Then

I stopped.


I stopped listening to myself, my pride, my past, my feelings and emotions. I stopped hearing myself long enough to hear God again. I heard God's love for me, and His patience. And I realized how unloving I was being.

Now I have to repent for my hard head and hard heart. And I still have to let God work on what I prayed.

The most ironic part of all this is that the verbal altercation I was involved in had to do with, of all things...

(I really hate to admit this)

...how we who say that we are Christians actually live out our Christianity in our daily lives.

I'm still in the crawling stages

(I will wait while you finish shaking your head at my complete and utter folly.)

I can just imagine the glee that Satan got out of this. I can also imagine his disappointment when I stopped running on my own steam and gave myself back over to He who lives within me.

Anyway, this is one of those times that I need to walk the talk.

I say I am a Christian, so I have to learn to love and live and forgive and repent, just as Christ commands me to.

I have to walk the talk and, boy, is this going to be some serious exercise.

Peace
--Free

Healing, Suffering & Thorns

As often happens, a very random thought struck me while I was in the middle of listening to an audio-book. I'm currently listening to "The Visitation" by Frank Peretti. (By the way, while this is not not my favorite by Peretti, still a good book.)

In the story, a stranger appears in a small town and begins to convince the residents that he is Jesus. One of the ways he wins over "even the elect" is by healing people.

As I listened to the story unfold, I kept thinking of all the reasons the town people should recognize a false Christ. I thought about how, even if such a man had come around before my sister died and could have healed her, I would not have wanted that. Neither would she, by the way.

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I know that people are always eager to be miraculously healed. It's why so many people travel to various places with "healing" waters and weeping statues, etcetera. What I don't understand about this is why we think that we should be healed. 

Of course, like just about everyone struggling with a disease, I take every advantage of modern medicine. I use to pray all the time for this disease to be taken from my body. I used to wish it had never even touched my life. But I also know that dying is a part of life. Sickness is a part of life. The minute Adam and Eve sinned, they were touched with the gradual death of the physical body.

Every one of us is born to die - even people who never suffer a cancer or any other kind of illness - unless we are still alive when Jesus calls us home in the Rapture. Methuselah lived hundreds of years, but he did eventually die. I have a grandfather who lived to be over 100 years old, but he did die.

I no longer even pray for my sickness to be taken away from me. I often try to give thanks that it hasn't killed me yet. I am even thankful that I got the disease. The reason is, this disease and everything in my life that has resulted from it brought me to my knees. I needed to be brought to just where I am today because, otherwise, I might never have learned to lean entirely on God.

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Everything I once was caused me to focus away from God. I was too young, cute, healthy and financially independent to ever think that I would be otherwise. At the time, I thought I'd never had to think about my health going bad or where my next paycheck or meal was coming from. Like most young people, I couldn't imagine not being young.

Life is for learning and growing. Health is a daily and sometimes very temporary blessing. For anyone who allows themselves to love others, suffering and grieving will eventually come. 

So, I don't want to ask God to relieve me of all suffering. I think of any of the things I have gone through as things to keep me from becoming conceited. Paul said it in a passage of the Bible:

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So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. (2 Corinthians 12:7 ESV)

Ten years ago - even 5 years ago - I would not have truly understood that message. Every time I get too confident in my own abilities, I am tempted to forget all that God does for me. What I am still learning every day is to "count it all joy" - every struggle is a reminder of what I won't have to deal with one day. 

Peace

--Free

Christianity as a Verb

The other day, I got one of those notices from LinkedIn about "someone I might know".

I know the person and I'm familiar with the title they had given themselves. The title is an honorary one allowed for mature females in a congregation or denomination.

Don't know who she is, but Navonne Johns got this right

This person is someone I knew very well when I was a child and who I had the chance to be around again a few year ago. Though they have this honorary title and speak the "language" of the denomination well, my direct experience with them is what brings me to this blog post.

I'm not going to speak on this person as an individual, but I do want to talk about how so many of us are more proficient at looking and acting like Christians than we are at living the Christian faith.

Recently, our pastor spoke about Jesus's words from Matthew 25:

I was hungry, and you gave me food. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was alone and away from home, and you invited me into your house.  I was without clothes, and you gave me something to wear. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

“Then the good people will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and give you food, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you alone and away from home and invite you into our house? When did we see you without clothes and give you something to wear? When did we see you sick or in prison and care for you?’

“Then the King will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, anything you did for even the least of my people here, you also did for me.’ (Matthew 25:35-40 NCV)

This is a passage I was always fortunate to use from the viewpoint of the one giving food, drink, and shelter. It's when I went through a period of being on the end of need that I learned what it really means.

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When I found myself physically sick and emotionally lost and in almost complete despair, I learned what true Christianity is. I also saw what dead faith is.

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You can do both!

Their were two women who cared for me with unconditional love and, literally, saved my life. One is a woman who is not even Christian. She's more of a Humanist than anything else. She is my best friend and has been with me when I was at the "top of my game" as well as when I fell hard.

My friend does not attend church. She does not yet embrace Jesus as her Savior. But my friend has never acted toward people in a way that makes me question human kindness. She's never acted in a way to make me question my own belief in Jesus. She's never been anything but good and decent to me and anyone else she meets.

In my own time of need, my friend gave me a safe place to stay. She fed me, clothed me, and even nursed me - and I didn't even know how physically sick I was at the time. She let my family know that they didn't need to worry at all about me because I was with her and would be taken care of. She didn't criticize me for any of the bad choices I had made that had brought me to the point I was at. She just loved me and cared for me. Period.

I keep loving my friend and living my life as a Christian in such a way that she sees the Christ in me that she says she doesn't see in other believers.

The other woman is my aunt.My aunt is a Christian. She's not the one you'll see at church every time the doors open. She's not the one singing at every state meeting. Her name isn't known throughout the denomination she belongs to. There are no honorary titles before or after her name.

My aunt praises God without a microphone or without wearing bright, pretty clothes and big Kentucky Derby style hats.

My aunt is the woman who, when you call to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving, reminds you that every day is a day of thanksgiving. She'll say something like, "The Lord woke you up yesterday morning, didn't He? Then be thankful and praise His name for each day."

My aunt was there for me just as my friend was. She gave me mother-love and motherly advice. She prayed for me. She sat with me while I cried and wrestled with hard decisions. She was my comfort when I felt deserted and abused and orphaned. I was away from home and family, but I was pulled into her home and into her protection. She would have put her life at risk for mine.

To this day, of all the people in this world that I know - family, friends, Christians, former co-workers - these are the two women I can count on unconditionally. I can pick up the phone at any time of day or night and just say, "I need you", and they will be there. I know that God loves me because He put into my life two people who know what love means. One of those women may not yet understand why love means what it does, but I'm still praying for her.

The woman with the honorary title is well-known in her denomination. She is a beautiful and gifted with specific talents. She speaks in tongues and "shouts" in praise and worship. She spends a lot of time attending church services, evangelical meetings and regional and national conventions. She knows the Bible. None of that meant anything to me when I needed to be loved.

I'm not ashamed (now) to say that I was teetering on the edge of suicide when I went through that dark period of my life. If not physical suicide, then spiritual suicide. I had decided that if I was meant to live, God would give me a reason. My reason was that I had two people who loved me deeply.

The two women who were there for me taught me something important about life: Goodness, holiness, kindness and mercy matter most as verbs. Where would any of us be if God kept all His goodness and mercy to Himself?

When I look back now on those days, I don't think too much about the titles of people I was around. I no longer look at how well someone can recite the Bible or sing the praise songs. I don't even care about denominations. What I will always remember - and use in my own life - is that some people did as Jesus taught while some people didn't.

Peace
--Free

Being Authentic

Everyone is talking about Rachel Dolezal. I'm not going to criticize her. I am feeling a little bit critical of people who so strongly supported Bruce Jenner in his quest of becoming 'Caitlyn' only to turn around and rage on Miss Dolezal.

I feel deeply for both Jenner and Dolezal because I can relate to their struggles. Let me make a few straight-on statements to explain my viewpoint:

• Being authentic means, in my opinion, to be not only who you are, but who God meant you to be. 
• Being authentic isn't always easy.
• Fitting into what you want yourself to be is much easier than becoming comfortable with who you are.

By the way, my pastor recently said something about exchanging criticism of others for trying to understand why they might behave the way they do. That resonated with me because I have tended to be highly critical of people. If they were doing something I would not do, I judged them in ways that I'm thankful God will never judge me.

As far as being able to relate with Dolezal, Jenner, and anyone else going through certain struggles, keep in mind that this is my viewpoint.

I can relate to anyone who would like to pretend to be what seems to makes them happy. The problem with pretense is that it wears on the soul.

Some people are fun to be around or smart or just naturally charismatic. There are people who others see as nurturing and wise or financially savvy or witty and trendy. We'd all like to have these qualities.

Certain qualities and personality styles are popular and enviable. By our human nature, none of us wants to be unpopular. Everyone wants love, affection, respect, admiration and acknowledgement. The struggle is that some of us don't possess qualities that are currently popular.

I'm not a naturally social and outgoing type of person. For years, I struggled to pretend to be gregarious around co-workers. The only place I could be my authentic self was at home.

The gregarious me was well-liked and popular at work. The authentic me was accepted at home, but there was the cost of being seen as slightly eccentric.

Now that I have become a practicing Christian, I find myself even less popular. Attempting to live a live of faith is not a popular or enviable position to be in. These days, it's just about the most intolerable state of living.

If I wanted to be more loved and accepted, if I wanted more people in my life, I could change the way I am. What I have come to realize that the only changes I need in my life are the one God provides.

The biggest hurdle to living life is to be not who you want to be - or who other people would like you to be - but who you were made to be.

I gave my heart to Christ a long time ago, but I only recently gave my daily life to him. This is where my real struggle has begun. If I found it hard to be what I wanted to be, I am learning that the real test is to be what God wants me to be.

So, I look at anyone struggling to find who they really are - who they were made to be be - and all I can do is pray for them. I pray the same prayer for them as I pray for myself, that I am able to be authentic to who and what God made me to be.

Peace
--Free

Spiritual Nutrition

On my other blog I cover various products, doing reviews of how well beauty treatments work and so on. Sometime back, I reviewed a detoxification tea and I've done water cleanses and juice detox treatments, etc.

Today, while I am fighting some extreme fatigue, I was considering doing another cleanse -- just eating blends of veggies for a week to get my energy level back up. However, since I didn't even have the energy to get out of my chair, I ended up flipping through a magazine I scored a free subscription for.

I didn't get past the list of contents without feeling disturbed and disgusted. Just a few months ago, I enjoyed perusing the articles and tidbits of information. It was all meaningless, but it was sort of a fun way to pass some time.

For some reason, today I couldn't even think of what I'd ever found worthy about this magazine. I realized that the advertisements didn't make me feel any better about anything, and the articles seemed really immature and pointless. And I began to realize that, without even meaning to, I've been nourishing my heart and my spirit by feeding it Scripture and prayer. Kind of a refueling of sorts.

(The magazine, by the way, is basically very pretty and well-packaged garbage. Not even something to pass time so much as to  kill time. Every time I've ever finished reading it, I never felt like a better person for having done so. If anything, I feel like I need to go out and buy a perfume or another kind of eyeliner or lipstick so that I can be a little prettier, sexier or better smelling. Truth is - and this goes for all of us and  the models in the magazines - we could go and buy all of Nordstrom and still not be everything that we are told is beautiful and sexy. For that, we'd need PhotoShop and the skin of a ten year old. Then the standards would change.)

Anyway.

My life as a Christian for several years has been lazy and I was using all of God's promises like a water fountain, only turning on the tap when I wanted something from Him. I prayed when I needed something, but rarely just to have a conversation with the Lord or to give thanks. I picked up my Bible when I had a specific question, but not just to study and meditate on the Word. I was most "Christian" when I was criticizing someone else's less than good behavior. I would surely pick up the Bible then - just so I could find the best verse to zing someone with...

All the time I've spent feeding my skin and my body and fighting the signs of aging, I've been slowly starving my spirit to death.

My idea of spiritual health was much like thinking I'd be doing my body a favor by ordering a salad along with 2 burgers and large fries.

Worst of all, I was one of those "At least" Christians. You know what I mean: Yes, I might do this bad/wrong thing, but AT LEAST I don't do that. ('That'  being the thing I thought someone else was wrong for doing.)

Now that I have stopped looking so hard at what other people are doing and started to focus on my own issues, I'm realizing that working on those things is not so hard when I let Jesus do all the labor.

But, like I started out saying, I'm dealing with my spiritual fatigue the same way I have dealt with physical symptoms. When I got sick with this sarcoidosis, I had to change the way I eat, rest and just live my life. We are all diagnosed as sinners. Makes sense to me that we need to accept the treatment offered.

I've read lots of stuff suggesting that the more we feed ourselves with good and nourishing foods, the less we'll depend on junk food for satisfaction. I've even heard that it's possible to detox yourself out of unhealthy cravings. I'm learning that this principle certainly applies to the spirit.

Now that I am back to nourishing myself with God's words, I'm finding that I'm too full of the good stuff to have room for the junk. The more I attend regular worship, and take time to stop and listen for His voice, the more I feel spiritually full. The more spiritually full I feel, the less I look for the things that are not good for me.

My mother used to say that there are blessings found in the most unlikely places and situations. Losing my sister was very painful for me, but that pain ran me deeper into the arms of God.  So, my mother was right. I truly found all kinds of blessings out of my pain.

You know how sometimes you find yourself pawing around the kitchen because you're hungry for something, but don't know what it is you want? You pick and eat at everything and just don't feel satisfied. That reminds me so much of how I felt about life for so long.

The world is made up of so much junk. There are things that are made to entertain us that don't make us feel better, act better, or live better. We feed on this kind of stuff from the time we wake up in the morning until the time we go to bed. We are so stuffed with and used to a steady diet of these empty calories that we don't even realize what we are truly hungry for. After a while, some of us stop looking and just get resign ourselves to being unhealthy and miserable.

My hope is that all of us will stop and take a look at what we are feeding our spirits. Take some time to detox the negative and useless so that we can refuel on what's good. Start weeding out the bad stuff in our life diets and replace it with what is good and satisfying.

For myself, instead of just "passing the time" when I am restless, I have started using that time more wisely. I've been keeping some books and audios on hand that encourage and uplift me. That's been important especially the past few days when I've been so worn out.

I'm currently reading "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn (which is very thought provoking, by the way). Also think I mentioned here before that our pastor told us about a book called "Vanishing Grace". There seem to be some good lessons and, well, food for thought in the book. I'm going to be picking up a copy soon as they have more paperbacks available. If you are interested, I see that they do have the hardback versions in stock.  From what I've heard of it and the reviews on Amazon, I will say that it seems like a good read.

If this were a post on my other blog, where I'd be telling people about a trendy new food or cosmetic, I'd get more of a response. For now, I'm trying to talk about something far more important and lasting. After all, no matter what we smear on our bodies or feed it - good or bad - this flesh is mortal and decaying. Our spirits are what we should be directing all our care to.

Peace
--Free

How Does the Internet Affect Our Lives?

There are a lot of positive advantages to social media sites. There are also some heavy negatives. As with anything, it's as though we turn any positive thing into a negative by going one or two steps further than we realize. I think that we sometimes get so involved in the online community that we forget the real-world communities we all live in.


If we look at how we could use these sites in contrast with how "jump the shark" with them. I just want to share some rambling thoughts I've been having since this morning when I sent a loved one a "Happy Birthday" wish via Facebook and text...

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The Positive: We can share photos and news and other information with friends and family who may not live by. 

Photos start becoming ego-driven vanity updates, selfies and outright lies. If I know you well enough, then I know that some of your photos are bigger fantasies than the fake Christmas letters you send around.

If I counted how many times I've seen a heart or "I love you" on a post from people who haven't shown love or genuine affection, I'd have to borrow Einstein's calculator.

Somehow, sharing news with family online has replaced taking 5 minutes to pick up a phone and put up with hearing each other's voices. I don't even want to think about how most of us will never know what it's like to have a box of ribbon-tied letters and cards to reminisce over.

Just as with texting, I love the convenience of a quick update, but worry when I see people sitting next to each other having a conversation via keyboard.

Worst of all is when I have to get really important updates about life, death, health and heartbreak via a social media site. If we have no other way to get the news out, social media is a blessing. If we have phone numbers and addresses, getting news via Facebook or Twitter just adds to the pain.

Most of us would cringe to see friends or family - or even strangers - having a nasty fight in public. It happens all the time on social media. Social media is great for the person to shy or afraid to talk about their feelings of love or depression or needing help. Too bad that it also allows and encourages passive-aggressive behavior.

When we are so busy posting about our loved ones and children instead of actually paying attention to them, we've not only jumped the shark, we allowed that shark to swallow us whole.

The Positive: As students, Christians, employees and other people wanting access, the internet is a vast resource.

Having access to information is sometimes a license to be lazy or cheat. Why work at figuring out the answers and completing an assignment if you can cull what you need from online? Copy/Paste is the biggest weapon against learning to think and reason for ourselves.

There's something to be said for working from home. There's also something to be said for having a sense of order and routine in ones life. Some of us are so glad for not having to get out of our pajamas to clock in for work that we're going to start having to find motivation for working at all.

I personally love that I can study all sorts of literature and resources to do with the Bible and Christianity. What I went through for years was a drought of worship with other Christians. There's so much more to walking the faith than reading Bible verses and listening to audios of sermons. Just being in the presence of brothers and sisters - all who are living their own struggles - is uplifting. (While I was typing this, the words of Matthew 18:20 came to mind: For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.)

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The Positive: Social media and the internet allows us to be in touch with people we may never meet in real life.

It's too easy to mask ourselves, our feelings and emotions, and our motives when we are hidden by a screen and a keyboard. There are people who count on that camouflage. Not all people who use this anonymity are dangers. Some people are lonely, depressed, or needful in other ways, and the rest of us can't see that. Then there are the dangerous people, the mean people, the bullies and parasites... It's hard enough to discern true motives of the people we see everyday, let alone those who are hidden behind an avatar or screen name.

I truly believe that we often can only understand our behavior when it's reflected off of others. How else do we see how our actions affect each other? If I ever thought it was "cute" to be sarcastic, I learned differently from seeing immature it looked to me when I saw someone else being sarcastic. We can see how small gestures of kindness can be so beautiful when we witness those acts being committed.


We are starting to lose touch with each other because we are separating into cliques that will not intermingle. One of the best things I get from social media is interacting with people I might not otherwise have the chance to. That's been a good thing, most times. The problem I find is that because we all have access to people who will feed craving for mindless stuff, we don't need to deal with anyone who tries to keep us focused on things that really matter. For instance, if I want to be that Christian that never wants to hear about the wrong things I might be doing, I can find a whole bunch of Christians who will tell me that I'm doing just fine. Any of us can, if we want, take our ball and go find a team that plays only by the rules we like. That's fine for the mature person, but it's not going to help the immature person to grow.

The Positive: News and information from all over the world is at the ready for anyone with an internet connection.

How much news are we keeping up with that has to do with issues that affect our families, livelihoods, and spiritual growth? Probably not as much as we are watching and reading that has to do with celebrity, entertainment and silliness. Some of us are so busy keeping up with the Kardashians (or the Duggars or the Basketball Wives, Housewives, etc.) that we can't keep up with our own homes and responsibilities.

We've turned into a bunch of gossips. We gossip so much now that we gossip about people we don't even know. If someone is the "friend" of a "friend" (and so on), we suddenly start to know (or think we know) way too much about who they date, sleep with, fought with - or who they want to date, sleep with or fight with.

I asked someone recently if they had heard about CERN. The response was vague and dismissive. A few hours later, I heard the person and some other people having a rousing discussion about the latest an episode of a television show. All I could think was that there are so few people left to have interesting and substantive conversations with. (My little brother and I have a joke that we hate calling each other because our conversations always turn into marathon discussions about the Bible, politics and other information. I just don't have many people I can have these conversations with so... Sorry, bro. You're it!)

So... How can we assess the effect we allow the internet and social media to have on our lives and relationships?

If we take just an hour of time away from that which we spend online and give that hour back to our real lives, what a difference it could make.

The next time that you hear about a friend going through something, pick up the phone and call. Send a letter or card. Go by and visit with them. Give them a hug or say "I love you".

When you are looking at your phone more than you are looking at the flesh and blood people right around you, how much are you showing that you care? When they are gone away from you, what will you regret that you didn't do or say because you were busy playing Farmville or Candy Crush, or whatever your online vice is?

Don't fool yourselves by thinking that the life you present online is the one that people see when they think of you. Most of us know what real lives we are living.

Maybe we should think about this: if what we are doing online isn't giving to our lives more than it's taking away, do we need to re-organize our priorities? We've all heard the term "Golf (or video game) Widow", but we are creating widows and orphans of our relationships, souls, goals, and daily lives every time we waste time online.

Another point is to realize that most of our time spent online is not for anything else but a diversion or distraction from real life situations we face. Maybe we need to ask ourselves why it is that we don't want to face those situations?

Parents and other adults teach their kids to eat balanced meals. "No dessert til you finish dinner" is something most of us have been taught. Why then have we, as grown ups, started replacing 'dinner' with 'dessert' when it comes to things in our day to day life?

Finally, as one Christian to other Christians, I just want to say that I think we have to be especially careful. We should not let anything - internet, hobbies, anything - distract us from our faith and purpose as Christians. I will still use the internet and social media, but I'm going to try to be careful not to let it use me.

Peace
--Free

**Church Notes** 5/31/2015

Because I attend a church that feed my heart, soul and my brain, I always want to share the feast. So, I'm thinking I will be sharing my little jottings and notes every now and then.

Church is always a blessing to me, and today's message was one that hit me hard. It was centered around the way we treat people. I've been so wrapped up in my personal issues that, lately, I've been less than loving.

It's not that I have been purposefully un-loving; I just have so much going on in my mind all the time that I can be blind to someone else's need for time and attention. (I notice that I always room enough in my mind for counting ways I feel slighted though... See? That right there is how I let the Enemy use me.)

Anyway, on to the notes I took this morning during service. My sarc is acting up this week so I can't do anything from memory, and I can barely read my own writing... so I will just list the key points (tear stains not included):

First note - 
There is another way for me to look at how I treat people. I will now always look at the following verses with a new understanding:

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. --Matthew 25:35-40 (KJV)

We get chances all the time to offer our love to those who are hungry, thirsty, strangers - and so on - but we don't see the opportunity to love. We might be tired or feeling inconvenienced. The pastor gave a beautiful statement about how we can see that message in our daily lives if we realize that one day we will be having this conversation with Jesus. Pastor reminded us that we need to be there for others.

Second note - 
As Christians, we need to stop thinking in an "Us vs Them" kind of way. We are all thirsty - for love, forgiveness, redemption - and Jesus can quench that thirst. How often do we extend love to people who are in need of kindness? Do we talk to them about Jesus, or do we show them his love through our own behavior?

Third note -
What if God saw us/looked at us the way we see/look at each other?

Fourth note-
How often do we listen to each other? Do we just wait for our turn to speak, or our turn to make out point without hearing the other person?

Fifth note -
(from a book) Feeling valued is a fundamental human need. Do we show people in our lives that we value them? (The book is one I want to get: Vanishing Grace Study Guide: Whatever Happened to the Good News? by Philip Yancey)

Sixth note -
A good questions to ask: "When have you felt loved/valued?" or "What makes you feel loved or valued?"

Seventh note-
Line from song: "Things will grow strangely dim in the glory of His grace" (that's probably not all the right words, but...)  This line made me think of how all the things we pay excessive attention to here in this life are not going to matter in the life to come. (I also teared up and smiled thinking of my sister and mother. They don't have to worry anymore about their illnesses.)

To look up this song (I had to jot down some of the words, but I did find it): "Holy Spirit You Are Welcome Here | Your Presence Lord" The young man who sang it in church didn't think he could do it justice, but he did. It's a really beautiful song and it went right deep into the pastor's message.

Sorry for the jumble of notes, but I really was copying much as I could from my jottings and scribbles!

Peace
--Free

Battles & Wars Part One: Picking Our Battles

There's a piece of advice I've always liked because it fits just about any situation: "Pick your battles." I used that with my niece just a bit ago.

My great-nephew (I call him my grandson when he's not being a little terror) was in a mood for whining about everything when he woke up. My niece is not feeling well and had to fast all night to go out early for blood work.

I'm fine with a whining child as long as they aren't making themselves (or me) sick. DJ was not making himself (or me) sick, but he was tap-dancing on my last good nerve. But he's three and he's not usually in his worst moods for long. However, my niece isn't feeling well today so I advised her to give in to his wanting to eat while sitting on the couch instead of at the table.

That advice about picking your battles is one that my mother used, but she added a reason: "Pick your battles because the war isn't over."

Good advice, right? Especially for Christians today. The problem some of us have is that we don't focus on the fact that we really are in a war. We don't recognize the battles we face every moment of every day. And there are many battles all around us:

• Sin that we have to deal with in our own lives.
• Dealing with acquaintances, neighbors, co-workers - even loved ones - who aren't helpful in our lives of faith.
• Struggling with the assault on our senses from the media and the world we are living in.
• Trying to love and witness to people who don't really want to hear it.

The list goes on and on. We wake up every day to a life lived in a body that tries to defeat us. We have to deal with health issues, stress issues, mental issues, etc. That's to be expected. We are human with these bodies made of flesh and blood.

The battles we pick are often ones to do with these bodies. We work at looking younger, thinner, and more 'beautiful'. We will endure all kinds of stress and mental anguish by working for more money and prestige and other ego-related reasons.

The battles we don't even recognize are the ones that the Bible told us about. 

Watch how we choose our battles:

• The Bible tells us to take care of our bodies and minds, but we don't even read about that. When a celebrity or popular doctor tells us about some new miracle diet, exercise or meditation technique, we jump right on it.
• We spend a lot of our time bad-mouthing preachers and other Christians than we do praying for them. Meanwhile, we can't live without the music and movies and other entertainment featuring people who not only hate our God, but are working to promote other gods.
• The Bible has laid out all the information we need about what will happen and how we are to respond, but we won't study that. We read stories in the news and don't question any of the sources or motivations. 
• God gave us answers for dealing with and enduring life's problems. When we get stressed and anxious, we seek out all sorts of strange therapies, illegal drugs and questionable methods for relief. 
• We have access to the greatest Therapist, Friend and Comforter, but we go on Facebook and Twitter and all the other social media sites to gossip, discuss our sex lives, and play passive-aggressive games with people in our lives.

I know that, until recently, I was choosing the wrong battles. My problem was that, while I loved the Lord, I wasn't taking time to study the Bible. It's the field guide for his war that we are in. 

One of my biggest mistakes was spending more time studying the world around me than preparing for the world to come. I got caught up in and fascinated by talented people I admired; trends and social cultures; and trying to be recognized and accepted for the few talents I have.

Now that I am focusing on God and the Scriptures, I am learning to more carefully pick my battles. It helps a lot that I know what the true battles are.

 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12 (KJV)

In Part Two, I'm going to talk about my personal battles with specific things.

Peace

--Free

Intelligence vs Wisdom

I've often wondered why Atheists are Atheists in probably the same was that they wonder why Christians are Christians.

Since I'm not a Christian for the reasons that a lot of people might assume (that I'm ignorant, a blind follower, gullible, or just want or need to believe in something, etc.) I have always wanted to explain why I believe in God.

Although my mother was a Christian and took me to church when I was young, I came to a mature, thoughtful and reasoning belief in God on my own by putting a lot of thought into some things:

1. What was before there was anything?
2. Because there was a beginning of everything that is, (instead of  there still being nothing), whatever/whoever brought that about is - no matter what our beliefs are -  a creator of some kind.
3. There is a foolishness in believing that everything came from nothing. 
4. If  one believes in the "big bang" - instead of any kind of creator - then what caused that?
5. If that big bang caused all that is how did that "happening" get us to where we are today?
6. Where did the idea of right and wrong, good and evil, come from if the universe is just an accidental happening?
7. And what is originated the need of the concepts of right and wrong or good and evil?
8. If we, as a result of this accidental happening, have evolved to this point, why can't we absolutely prove that there is no creator or Creator?

While many people believe that faith in a Creator is illogical, even as a less mature Christian, I've always found a belief in the Big Bang theory egotistical. Why believe that anything (or Anyone) can be greater than we? 

I can better understand how someone could believe in another god. I can understand that because some people do just believe based on what their parents or culture passed down. Some people never question things for themselves. What I can't understand is how anyone can not believe in God or any god.

One of the things that seals my faith in God even more strongly is that there are people who believe that the "big bang" was caused by nothing or no One, because God already named these people: 

 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. (Psalm 14:1)

So, what would it take to have me even consider someone's argument of non-intelligent design?

• When they can create a new color, sound, smell - or anything else - without using what God already created. 
• When they can create life without using the materials that are already in existence. 
• When they can create something out of nothing.

The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1:9)

Because then they would be capable of doing what God has already done. And, even then, I would not disbelieve in God. Why? Because the man doing any of that is merely a creation of Someone other than himself.

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God is. He is proven in the very nature and universe around us, the air He created; the very things that make up everything that is the human body, mind and soul. Without Him there is nothing. We would not even be here to question His existence.

The only thing I can say to the person who believes that there is no God, is that their belief is much more foolish than my faith that God is.

And why do I believe the God of the Bible - and not some other god - that's easy: Jesus.

Jesus' life, death and resurrection were prophesied. The change that was promised to me if I chose to accept Jesus into my heart have proven true.

Now, a great mind - say, a physicist  - could make me look incredibly ignorant in a debate. I'm don't possess high intelligence (as it it measured by man), but I have wisdom enough to humble myself.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. (Proverbs 9:10)

In a debate with someone who is more 'intelligent' than I, my only statement would be this: that they understand physics and mathematics, or whatever it is they specialize in, but they didn't create the concepts; they have only grasped it better than most of us.

The LORD knows the thoughts of man, That they are a mere breath. (Psalms 94:11)

What I pray for is that every intelligent man will be wise enough to humble himself before God.

This whole subject of belief and unbelief is important because our choices will determine our ultimate eternity. As someone who believes that there is going to be eternal life after death spent in either Heaven or Hell. I don't want anyone to face Hell.

I once heard or read that a Christian responded to a Atheist by saying: "If you are right,  then I am safe. If I am right, you have problems." Of course, I am paraphrasing.

I know that there would be those who would continue the Atheist's argument by saying that Christians will have missed out on things our lifetime.  In my opinion, that's still a weak attitude. After all, even a secular humanist would agree that life is to be lived decently. So, the only winners in the Atheistic view of death are people who live this life like devils and make things unpleasant for all the rest of us.

At any rate, don't want this to be a one-sided discussion, so I'd be interested to hear from others on why they do (or do not) believe in the God of the Bible.

Peace
--Free

Watch but don't Jump

A lot of people are saying that we are living, if not in the end times, close to the edge of those times. I'm a believer.

The thing is, I don't think that we Christians should get too wrapped up in the mania. We need to be witnessing to others about the Gospel, no matter what times we are living in. Still, it's hard not to take notice of things that are happening around us that seem to signal something.

• There's President Erdogan. People seem to be thinking of him as a god. One quote from that link: “Even touching Erdogan is a form of worship,” (Never mind that I am just now even paying attention to him... BTW, the hologram thing creeped me out.)
• And that Hadron Collider machine that I mentioned before is surely man trying to play God.
• People are probably not any more blasphemous than they were when I was young, but they get so much more attention for it. Since celebrities seem to have more influence than is reasonable, I'm worried about rappers who don't protest when someone publishes a bible replacing the name of God with theirs. (And, though he has says ridiculously egotistical things, the rapper apparently had nothing to do with the publishing.)
• We are seeing strange weather,  

To me the biggest sign of all is that people don't want to hear about any of this. I mentioned the CERN issue to a relative and remarked that this is the kind of thing we should all be discussing more - and not who wore what to the Grammys. The response: crickets.

What do you think? Are any of you experiencing a sense of, I don't know - something? As if we are entering into a greater need for prayer? 

Call me crazy, but I do feel as if time is running short. But I think that we need to be hopeful, not afraid. We need to be more eager than ever to share the Gospel. Are you? I am, I can tell you that.

And because I saw this other video right after... ~sigh~

Peace

--Free

Denial and Fence-Sitting

Almost every argument I've heard against Christianity is rooted in one a couple of words: Don't, Want, Won't, Can't -

• I don't want to believe in a God who **fill in the blank**
• I won't follow a God who doesn't tolerate **fill in the blank**
• I don't want to give up **fill in the blank**
• I can't imagine there being only one way/one path, etc.

When I talk to some of my friends and relatives about salvation, they don't outright object to the idea of following Jesus, but they don't make a choice.

I think most objections to following Christ come down to people not wanting to make a definitive choice. (There's that word again...) Or they don't want to submit.

For a lot of people, I wonder if the problem isn't just that they have a sense of immortality. In a way, I get that.

Some of us never think about death as a real thing for us. We read about another person dying and can never imagine that it could have been us. Or we imagine it just long enough to run away from the thought. Because that's scary right?

Even as a Christian, when I lose a loved one, I can't fathom death. I can't fathom the definite end of that human life. That idea of everything that a person was just not being.

Death is huge. It's the end of all choices and opinions and the end of self. And while we are alive, we are all about self, aren't we? 

23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. (Luke 9:23-24)

(source)

And that is, I think, the biggest problem for the people I personally know. 

Before I put my opinions on other people, let me look at myself.

In my human nature, or my flesh, I am a basically selfish person. While I can be generous to a fault, that's a conditional thing for me. I'm generous if I am in the mood, if I feel sorry or worried for someone, and so on. There are lots of 'Ifs' to my personality.

When I look at those verses in Luke, I find the hardest words for some of us are 'deny' and 'follow'. We don't live in a world or social culture that encourages denying ourselves anything. And we are taught from the first days in school to be leaders, right? 

If I have anything to say about people I personally know, I will include them in with myself when I comment on the inability to deny themselves and follow anyone - let alone Jesus. 

• Some of us can deny ourselves food long enough to fast
• We struggle with denying ourselves our entertainment long enough to pray
• We don't follow/listen to our elders, spouses, advising friends
• We don't like to follow/obey bosses on a job
• We don't deny ourselves pleasures to sacrifice for our kids and parents

There are certain words that human find hard to digest from the time we understand language: 

• Obey
• Submit
• No

So many of us have a self-royal, self-important attitude about being in control of things. We think that work, family, friends, love, caring, happiness, giving, and all life should revolve around us. It's as though we think of ourselves as the center of some universe where everything is about and for us.

Us. I. Me. 

Now, I do know people who are very generous and caring and loving and unselfish to a great degree. The problem with that is, they think that this is enough. 

(source)

Being a good person is enough for some things. A good person will probably have a nice obituary written up when they die. A good person will probably be remembered and talked about in a favorable, loving way when they die. 

The thing is though, when that good person dies, they are just as dead as the less-loved person. Then what?

We never want to think about the "then what" part, do we? But that is the part that counts most. It's the eternal part.

One of my friends is such a good and decent person. I really cannot think of one bad thing to say about her - and I have known her for many years. She is a truly 'good' person, but she has never confessed a belief in Jesus Christ. Over the years, she has told me that she believes in "a higher power", "something bigger than all of us", and the like.

I have known quite a few people like this. They believe in something, but they won't name it. I don't know if they have a name for whatever it is they believe in. 

This is heartbreaking for me because, whenever I have this kind of conversation with one of these friends, I think of this from Revelation 3:16:

(source)

So then because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth.

I believe this verse is about those claiming to be Christians, but I always think of it as applying to anyone who won't choose. (I'm going to have to go back and check my study Bible and a commentary on this verse. This is why I need to join a Bible study group!)

The verse does make me re-evaluate my own stand in my faith. I can sometimes be 'lukewarm' when talking with people about my faith. I know that I need to be bolder - not about making them believe, but about asserting and not being ashamed of my own beliefs.

Here's the thing: we are all going to face God one day. We are going to face Him having made our choice. No matter which choice any of us make, it's important enough to think about before we die.

Are you brave enough to choose to say -without any doubt - that,

• that there is no God? or
• that God is? or
• that that god you believe in has nothing to do with Jesus? 

And are you brave enough - sure enough - to live (and die) by your choice?

If you aren't willing to make a choice, that is also a choice. Are you willing to die with that choice?

I suppose there are many Christians who are willing to choose Jesus and to die with that choice. I always examine myself to see if I am living that choice. 

I've made my choice. I believe that there is only one way to God and that is through the blood of Jesus Christ. I'm willing to die with that choice, and I'm living by that choice. 

Peace

--Free

Purge the Negative, Renew the Positive

Every now and then, I backslide into some of my old habits and sins. So, every now and then, I have to examine my life and my heart, then purge some things.

Some Christians I know don't attend church that often or even read their Bible. There was a time that I didn't read my Bible unless I was looking for some specific chapter or verse. About 12 years or so ago, I did read the Bible straight through, but that was more about proving to myself that I could do it. Actually, I'm not sure now exactly why I did it.

In the past few years, I have been reading my Bible more. For about 3 months or so now, I've been reading the Bible very regularly. I've also been attending church almost every week since my sister Mike died.

Guess what? The more I study the Bible and listen to my pastor, the more grateful I am for my salvation. I think more about my behavior and my life and how I can grow in both.

(source)

So, I've been purging more lately. Giving up things in my behavior that don't benefit me in any positive way. Swapping out some of the time I spend doing idle and useless things so that I have that time to pray or just reflect on my blessings.

One of the benefits of a purge I did some years back is that I have learned to occasionally sit and be still and quiet. That doesn't sound like a big deal but it is. With all of the distractions that have crept into my life, I had gotten very good at drowning out my own thoughts. More important, I had stopped being able to hear God's voice.

(source)

I look around at people I know and love and realize how busy they are with their phones, TV, music and chatter. One of the people in my life is going through a lot of emotional turmoil and I can almost feel her aching for peace and resolution. The other day, as I was thinking about her and praying for her, I realized that she is doing what so many of us do: looking for peace while, at the same time, drowning in noise. If she's not watching TV, she is focused on her phone. She has to be talking and chattering or being entertained. And all she wants, I believe, is for some peace in her own soul. I truly have come to believe that she is actually running from peace and running from God.


Is this noise and chatter that we are drowning in brilliant or what? Their are many weapons in the war to keep people from seeking God or, even when they find Him, from focusing on Him.

I believe that one of the most powerful weapons being used today is noise. Useless, idle, constant and always-there noise. And not just noise of sound, but noise of every one of our senses. We are assaulted by music, television, gaming, gossiping, partying, going, doing, being, moving, and on and on and on.

It's so hard for us to just sit still and be quiet. So hard for us to hear our own thoughts, let alone the voice of God.

This time for my purging I am going through my social networks. I'm examining who and what I follow on these networks. I need to cut out some of the negative and non-beneficial stuff and reach out to more like-minded people and projects. I've been looking at some of the things I've encouraged (by 'liking' or 'plussing') or re-shared.

My social networks are a great way to communicate with other people - regardless of what their faith and beliefs are - but I don't want my time spent on the networks to be idle or useless. While I don't shove my beliefs down anyone's throat, I like mutual respect.

Some of the people I "associate" with online don't always bring out the best in me. I'm trying to clean up my language, so I don't want to deal with a lot of foul language - especially from other Christians. Not that I criticize where they are in their 'walk', but I'm just in a different place in mine. I'd like to think that we encourage each other to do and be better each day, not just go through life without maturing.

(source)

Time to purge the useless junk and renew the good stuff.

Peace

When Things Get Real

Do you remember the moment when you shifted from feeling "not grown" to "grown"? Or when you underwent any other major change of attitude, style, or sense of yourself?

I don't remember those moments. I don't remember when it happened that I stopped playing with adulthood and actually started being a true adult. Or when I stopped thinking about relationships in a shallow way and begin to understand their seriousness.

Yesterday, though, I underwent one of those major moments. Something in my soul shifted and rearranged itself in some way that I am still trying to understand.

I was sitting in my sister's room, watching as her son tried to begin going through her some of her belongings. We want to pack everything up and store them until we decide what to keep and what to donate. It's been a month now since she passed away and I guess my nephew and I thought we were ready to deal with this task. We weren't.

My nephew looked around at all those things - the hats she wore throughout her chemo treatments; the miniature bottles of perfume that she preferred over the full-sized ones: "Obsession" and "Queen" and "Giorgio"; cards and gifts that she'd received for birthdays and Christmas - and he suddenly was overwhelmed with the very gone-ness of his mother. My sister. And everything in him just gave in to the grief. It seemed that he was just winded with the pain of it.

I think this is the first time that he was understanding that she really is gone. Not here. Not ever going to be sitting on that bed, or putting on those hats or that perfume, or laughing with us, advising us, comforting us, fussing at us.

And so.

It was later, after my nephew had gone home, and I was sitting there on my sister's bed that I had that moment I was talking about. I'm not the first to have this particular moment but, for me, it was like my heart had always been partially blind until just then. That moment.

Though I'd always known that nothing is as important as the soul, it was at that moment that I truly understood that fact.

I understood that nothing - not issues of politics, race, gender, sexuality - none of it matters as much as God. What I realized is that, not only does none of that stuff matter as much as we've been made to believe, but a lot of it - most of it - is a distraction.

The other week, I saw someone online pondering about whether or not Ebola had been a distraction from something else, considering how big a media topic is was for such a short period of time. Now I was thinking of all the other issues that keep us busy and distracted and warring among ourselves.

Maybe, I thought, everything is a distraction from the biggest thing: eternity.

I think it was in "The Screwtape Letters" that C.S. Lewis talked about ways Satan and his tempters distract humans away from the very thoughts we ought to be having. I know that that's been true in my own life.

Always before, I allowed myself to be distracted from important matters. I can list things that I spent way too much of my energy on:

• Anger at injustices (personal and in general)
• Competing with myself in personal goals and with others on the job
• Finding ways to fill my "me" time with fun and adventure and any kind of entertainment
• Worrying about my shortcomings as a woman, a wife, a sibling
• Working to improve my outer self

It's not that those things don't matter at all, but I let them matter too much. I wasn't spending enough (or, in some cases, any) time and energy on things that really do matter:

• As a Christian, I am called to be ready to give an answer for why I believe. I can recite some Bible verses, but I can recite some popular book and movie lines better.
• I don't pray enough. I'm too busy allowing myself to be distracted about how and where and what to pray for. Until I get into some kind of trouble.
• I don't share my faith enough with the people right around me. I might profess my beliefs, but I don't always show those beliefs with actions.
• I don't ask myself the hard questions about whether or not everything I do might be pleasing to God.
• Most of all, I don't always live as if this moment could be my last on earth.

What I realized is not only have I allowed myself to be distracted but, a lot of the times, I've wanted to be distracted. 

It's easier for me to argue how racial profiling affects me than it is to think about racial profiling as being part of the bigger issue of ignorance, intolerance and injustice. None of those things are new and we aren't going to solve them.

That's dangerous because instead of focusing on the fact that evil and wrongdoing exists (as it always has) I (and especially non-believers) are tempted to focus on why a "good" God "allows" such things.

It's easier for me to worry about work and making more and more money than it is for me to ask myself how much money really matters. I've even allowed myself to be manipulated into worry about what kind of work I do rather than just working at all.

That's just insane because so many of us will suffer by going without any decent work because we think we deserve something better. (And "better" might mean work that we aren't qualified for, suited for, etc.) Some of us get to the point where we'd rather sell drugs than work at a fast food restaurant once we're past a certain age.

It's easier for me to pursue useless entertainment. Simple enjoyment has taken a backseat to more and more and more. Where I used to be happy with just enjoying a good book, now I get caught up in having the newest devices for reading a book. Where I used to just get out and walk and enjoy being out, now I have gadgets that monitor how much I'm walking - or I even just stay indoors and walk on a machine.

And it goes on and on.

Bottom line is, we've been manipulated and distracted. Not all of us, but so many of us - and by "us", I mean those of us who call ourselves Christian. So, if we - those who claim Christ as our personal Savior, those of us who read and study the Bible, those of us who know the warnings - then what about the people we are supposed to be spreading the Gospel to?

Anyway.

I can't speak for anyone else or have "the moment" for them but, now that I've had mine, I've got changes to make. I'm really focusing on balancing out the time and energy I spend of anything. And I have to pray constantly about these distractions.

Peace