Living for Heaven or for Earth?

In reading the book "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn and doing the Bible study, one of the things that crossed my mind was that I am learning what it means to count it all joy and to see blessings in my trials.

I've been so tired and worn down the past few weeks. The physical fatigue doesn't do much for my spirit. The blessing is that, in all this earthly, physical weariness I'm feeling, I can look even more forward to Heaven.

When I was younger, I would look at people who seemed to "have it all" or to be "living the dream" and I'd be so envious. I'd try to imagine what it must feel like to be so wealthy that I could buy anything I wanted, go anywhere and do anything without having to worry about the expense. I'd wonder about the lives of people who were really physically beautiful or charismatic and wonder what that must be like.

Some years back, there was a certain rock star who was so charismatic that, no matter how scruffy he looked and no matter what he might be doing, people would just go slack-jawed with desire in his presence. And I would just wonder what he must feel like.

This kind of envy affected so much of my life. If I got a chance to do something - anything - that made me feel even one iota as wealthy, important or beautiful as the people I envied, I'd jump at it. To attend a party with people I thought of as "important", or to have dinner at an exclusive restaurant made me feel - temporarily - somehow more worthy. Not because I actually was important or able to afford such things but because I could pretend to be.

For example, someone close to me once owned a car that was, at the time, a very new and limited release model. I was given the chance to drive the car around town for a bit. If you had seen me, cruising down and around the streets, you would have believed that I actually owned that car and was used to owning such cars. You'd have had no idea that I probably would not have been able to put 10 dollars worth of gas in that car without sweating my next grocery shopping trip. I was so overjoyed that people were checking me out and just drooling over that car every time I stopped at a light.

I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with being important or having money and nice material things. It's just that, for me, things like that affect who I am and how I behave. At least, that was true before I decided to follow Jesus.

It's true that money is not the root of all evil, but the love of money. After all, I certainly only ever had a love of (and not possession) money. It was my love of money - combined with my lack of it - that caused me to be so dissatisfied.

What's so funny to me is that, if I could have all those material things now, they wouldn't mean the same thing to me as they would have before.

I no longer care about being "important" or wealthy. It would, of course, be nice not to have to worry about paying bills and having a roof over my head. Lots of things would make life physically more enjoyable and comfortable - having seafood at every meal or driving the safest and most secure vehicle, etc.

What I care most about now is being okay with all the material things I do have, don't have, don't need to have, and may never have. I'm not living anymore for this life but for the next.

These days when I look at people who do have lots of status and wealth, I just hope that they are happy with it all. I hope that they truly do enjoy and appreciate their blessings. I'm sure that there are quite a few people with money that are very content. I'm pretty sure that there are lots of wealthy people who could take it or leave it.

The thing about money, status, relationships - anything that we place higher than God - is that, when we lose grip on it, they find that it was all that was holding them together. After all, what good does anything else do for us if we lose our souls in pursuit of it?

By the way, that rock star I mentioned before was one that I was a huge fan of at one time. He died before he was 40 years old. Some people say that it was suicide and others say that it was a sex game gone wrong. Everyone agrees that he was desperately unhappy at the time that he died. I feel so much sadness about that. I can't help but think that his money and fame and charisma did him no good at all when he needed something more. And I remember that, for such a long, long time, I also didn't have anything more than this world could give me.

So I pray for are the people who are like I was - envious and silly about money - and who aren't happy with their status and money. I pray for the people who, if everything they have is taken from them, they won't have discovered the love of Christ to get them through those losses.

I still haven't figured out if I am being boastful or prideful when I wish for others to feel the same way that I do now. I always wonder if I am like the person who, once they have kids, that's all they talk about!

Peace
--Free

Spiritual Nutrition

On my other blog I cover various products, doing reviews of how well beauty treatments work and so on. Sometime back, I reviewed a detoxification tea and I've done water cleanses and juice detox treatments, etc.

Today, while I am fighting some extreme fatigue, I was considering doing another cleanse -- just eating blends of veggies for a week to get my energy level back up. However, since I didn't even have the energy to get out of my chair, I ended up flipping through a magazine I scored a free subscription for.

I didn't get past the list of contents without feeling disturbed and disgusted. Just a few months ago, I enjoyed perusing the articles and tidbits of information. It was all meaningless, but it was sort of a fun way to pass some time.

For some reason, today I couldn't even think of what I'd ever found worthy about this magazine. I realized that the advertisements didn't make me feel any better about anything, and the articles seemed really immature and pointless. And I began to realize that, without even meaning to, I've been nourishing my heart and my spirit by feeding it Scripture and prayer. Kind of a refueling of sorts.

(The magazine, by the way, is basically very pretty and well-packaged garbage. Not even something to pass time so much as to  kill time. Every time I've ever finished reading it, I never felt like a better person for having done so. If anything, I feel like I need to go out and buy a perfume or another kind of eyeliner or lipstick so that I can be a little prettier, sexier or better smelling. Truth is - and this goes for all of us and  the models in the magazines - we could go and buy all of Nordstrom and still not be everything that we are told is beautiful and sexy. For that, we'd need PhotoShop and the skin of a ten year old. Then the standards would change.)

Anyway.

My life as a Christian for several years has been lazy and I was using all of God's promises like a water fountain, only turning on the tap when I wanted something from Him. I prayed when I needed something, but rarely just to have a conversation with the Lord or to give thanks. I picked up my Bible when I had a specific question, but not just to study and meditate on the Word. I was most "Christian" when I was criticizing someone else's less than good behavior. I would surely pick up the Bible then - just so I could find the best verse to zing someone with...

All the time I've spent feeding my skin and my body and fighting the signs of aging, I've been slowly starving my spirit to death.

My idea of spiritual health was much like thinking I'd be doing my body a favor by ordering a salad along with 2 burgers and large fries.

Worst of all, I was one of those "At least" Christians. You know what I mean: Yes, I might do this bad/wrong thing, but AT LEAST I don't do that. ('That'  being the thing I thought someone else was wrong for doing.)

Now that I have stopped looking so hard at what other people are doing and started to focus on my own issues, I'm realizing that working on those things is not so hard when I let Jesus do all the labor.

But, like I started out saying, I'm dealing with my spiritual fatigue the same way I have dealt with physical symptoms. When I got sick with this sarcoidosis, I had to change the way I eat, rest and just live my life. We are all diagnosed as sinners. Makes sense to me that we need to accept the treatment offered.

I've read lots of stuff suggesting that the more we feed ourselves with good and nourishing foods, the less we'll depend on junk food for satisfaction. I've even heard that it's possible to detox yourself out of unhealthy cravings. I'm learning that this principle certainly applies to the spirit.

Now that I am back to nourishing myself with God's words, I'm finding that I'm too full of the good stuff to have room for the junk. The more I attend regular worship, and take time to stop and listen for His voice, the more I feel spiritually full. The more spiritually full I feel, the less I look for the things that are not good for me.

My mother used to say that there are blessings found in the most unlikely places and situations. Losing my sister was very painful for me, but that pain ran me deeper into the arms of God.  So, my mother was right. I truly found all kinds of blessings out of my pain.

You know how sometimes you find yourself pawing around the kitchen because you're hungry for something, but don't know what it is you want? You pick and eat at everything and just don't feel satisfied. That reminds me so much of how I felt about life for so long.

The world is made up of so much junk. There are things that are made to entertain us that don't make us feel better, act better, or live better. We feed on this kind of stuff from the time we wake up in the morning until the time we go to bed. We are so stuffed with and used to a steady diet of these empty calories that we don't even realize what we are truly hungry for. After a while, some of us stop looking and just get resign ourselves to being unhealthy and miserable.

My hope is that all of us will stop and take a look at what we are feeding our spirits. Take some time to detox the negative and useless so that we can refuel on what's good. Start weeding out the bad stuff in our life diets and replace it with what is good and satisfying.

For myself, instead of just "passing the time" when I am restless, I have started using that time more wisely. I've been keeping some books and audios on hand that encourage and uplift me. That's been important especially the past few days when I've been so worn out.

I'm currently reading "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn (which is very thought provoking, by the way). Also think I mentioned here before that our pastor told us about a book called "Vanishing Grace". There seem to be some good lessons and, well, food for thought in the book. I'm going to be picking up a copy soon as they have more paperbacks available. If you are interested, I see that they do have the hardback versions in stock.  From what I've heard of it and the reviews on Amazon, I will say that it seems like a good read.

If this were a post on my other blog, where I'd be telling people about a trendy new food or cosmetic, I'd get more of a response. For now, I'm trying to talk about something far more important and lasting. After all, no matter what we smear on our bodies or feed it - good or bad - this flesh is mortal and decaying. Our spirits are what we should be directing all our care to.

Peace
--Free

Purge the Negative, Renew the Positive

Every now and then, I backslide into some of my old habits and sins. So, every now and then, I have to examine my life and my heart, then purge some things.

Some Christians I know don't attend church that often or even read their Bible. There was a time that I didn't read my Bible unless I was looking for some specific chapter or verse. About 12 years or so ago, I did read the Bible straight through, but that was more about proving to myself that I could do it. Actually, I'm not sure now exactly why I did it.

In the past few years, I have been reading my Bible more. For about 3 months or so now, I've been reading the Bible very regularly. I've also been attending church almost every week since my sister Mike died.

Guess what? The more I study the Bible and listen to my pastor, the more grateful I am for my salvation. I think more about my behavior and my life and how I can grow in both.

(source)

So, I've been purging more lately. Giving up things in my behavior that don't benefit me in any positive way. Swapping out some of the time I spend doing idle and useless things so that I have that time to pray or just reflect on my blessings.

One of the benefits of a purge I did some years back is that I have learned to occasionally sit and be still and quiet. That doesn't sound like a big deal but it is. With all of the distractions that have crept into my life, I had gotten very good at drowning out my own thoughts. More important, I had stopped being able to hear God's voice.

(source)

I look around at people I know and love and realize how busy they are with their phones, TV, music and chatter. One of the people in my life is going through a lot of emotional turmoil and I can almost feel her aching for peace and resolution. The other day, as I was thinking about her and praying for her, I realized that she is doing what so many of us do: looking for peace while, at the same time, drowning in noise. If she's not watching TV, she is focused on her phone. She has to be talking and chattering or being entertained. And all she wants, I believe, is for some peace in her own soul. I truly have come to believe that she is actually running from peace and running from God.


Is this noise and chatter that we are drowning in brilliant or what? Their are many weapons in the war to keep people from seeking God or, even when they find Him, from focusing on Him.

I believe that one of the most powerful weapons being used today is noise. Useless, idle, constant and always-there noise. And not just noise of sound, but noise of every one of our senses. We are assaulted by music, television, gaming, gossiping, partying, going, doing, being, moving, and on and on and on.

It's so hard for us to just sit still and be quiet. So hard for us to hear our own thoughts, let alone the voice of God.

This time for my purging I am going through my social networks. I'm examining who and what I follow on these networks. I need to cut out some of the negative and non-beneficial stuff and reach out to more like-minded people and projects. I've been looking at some of the things I've encouraged (by 'liking' or 'plussing') or re-shared.

My social networks are a great way to communicate with other people - regardless of what their faith and beliefs are - but I don't want my time spent on the networks to be idle or useless. While I don't shove my beliefs down anyone's throat, I like mutual respect.

Some of the people I "associate" with online don't always bring out the best in me. I'm trying to clean up my language, so I don't want to deal with a lot of foul language - especially from other Christians. Not that I criticize where they are in their 'walk', but I'm just in a different place in mine. I'd like to think that we encourage each other to do and be better each day, not just go through life without maturing.

(source)

Time to purge the useless junk and renew the good stuff.

Peace